(photo via arizona foot hills magazine)
I've always loved writting.. and the idea of becoming a published author one day has haunted me since I was a kid and used to write stories and comic books, both illustrated of course! Don't forget I love to draw more than anything in the world.
The last couple of months, I've spent my nights watching one or two chapters of Sex and the City before going to sleep. I'm a huge fan of the show and it's been long since I last saw an episode aired on tv.. I missed Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and even Miranda (let's face it, she's not our favorite character). So I bought the whole box of seasons and started playing them night by night.. I'm suddenly obsessed again and looking forward to going to bed to these 4 fabulous ladies.
All this leads me to the point that, Carrie Bradshaw's succesful "Sex and the City" column on the New York Times is making me want to write too... and badly. I may not be an expert on relationships, love, sex or NY city as Carrie portrays to be, but still it got me thinking about writing... and about those things as well. Aside from my "Style and Trends" articles from Examiner.com and CD Magazine, which are strickly "fashion"; I'd like to write about other things as well.. you can choose to read it or not, either way I think it will do me good to let my mind out in words.
And right now, as I listen to Billie Holiday sing "I'll be seeing you"; I choose to write about what it takes to leave the single life behind. Some people may find it refreshing to finally land a dream love, others may just enjoy the ride whithout worrying if it would last or not; and perhaps, a smaller crowd of people could be sweating and heavy breathing right now just by considering the idea of leaving the single life behind.
What does it take for a single girl to finally agree to be "the girlfriend"?
I have to say it is taking me a lot to hang in a relationship after 7 years of a happy single life.
Suddenly I find myself in situations where it's not really just "myself" but also him; his time, his friends, his favorite foods and movies and music and brand of cigarettes... It's been "me" for so long that I don't know what it means to be "we".
I guess it is all about making the effort of trying new things with that person, letting him into your life, being there to support each other, commitment... Now that's a word I've been scared of for years... "commitment". It's hard enough to stop doing my things so I can make time to see him; and even harder to not make him feel like it's his fault I missed my last appointment, didn't make a deadline or went to sleep at 4.50 a.m. just to finish what had to be finished earlier.
I keep telling to myself, baby steps.. baby steps.. It's not I don't enjoy this new chapter in my life.. It's just that I don't know if I'm the "relationship" kind of girl. I'm very particular about my space, I look forward to my lonely moments of the day and I'm not very fond of sharing anything actually... I'd rather buy someone another food plate, latte or cigarette just so they don't keep picking or zipping off mine. It's like that ONE big strawberry milkshake with TWO straws... will I be able to stand two straws in the same glass?